Broke Mommy, Not Easily Rattled

Before I became a mother, I would see groups of moms interacting in these social circles. Mommy playdates, kiddie playdates, morning jogging groups pushing strollers, etc. Wearing yoga pants or warmup suits as the daily uniform at the playgrounds or neighborhood Starbucks. I thought that it was a joke, this seriously can’t be a thing? Do they have to roll in packs like that all the time? Wearing yoga pants or workout gear all the time?

Now that I am a mother, I understand. I too wear yoga pants and baggy sweatpants ALL the time, it is my uniform because it’s comfortable when dealing with a 15 month old. But what I have come to realize is that motherhood can be an isolating existence. Trying to bounce ideas or engage in conversation with a baby can be less than satisfactory. They are listening but they can’t respond unless it’s with a smile or they hand you their favorite toy which is sweet. But moms need to be with other moms so they can express themselves. Needing to be able to talk about dumb stuff their husbands do or (if they’re close friends) need a shoulder to cry on when times get overwhelming.

Yes, I’m overjoyed to be a mom especially after 12 years of marriage and constant disappointment every month, but it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t like to have “me time”. Or at least socialize with other mothers and children. I’m not working (out of our control), so our daily routine consists of walking our usual path and ending up at the playground before we go in for the rest of the day. But I do this alone. No mommy groups to join me or at least one mom and her child. It saddens me sometimes. But what do you do when finances rule your activities? It seems that money is a deciding factor in everything, you notice price points all the time!! Grocery and gas budgets are skimming at best, so you better not take a little off the top. Constantly calculating to the penny, most hangouts for babies and moms are costly (baby gyms are fun, but $70 a month, heck no)! An early drive to Dunkin Donuts(if you have some extra cash stashed away) is a stress reliever because that short drive is the time needed for prayer with God about anything and everything.

I’m not the only one who is struggling, my husband who is the breadwinner, is so tired when he comes home that guilt sets in for wanting to take time for myself. (He thinks the same thing, but in reverse, he wants to do more for us.) But I buck up and try to help him wind down for the evening. It’s the job of the helpmate. And just as fast as I think these thoughts they can go away, not forever but I refuse to keep dwelling on them anymore that day. So I pray and then I feel better as a sense of calm washes over me. My son looks at me with his peanut head smiling the biggest grin he can muster and I smile back. Knowing that each day is a blessing and can still be tedious but it’s all worth it in the end. Things will work themselves out in the long run but for right now I just have to have faith and enjoy as much time as possible with my family.



  1. I love this and see me in it. It’s so hard to find others to connect with especially when you reach different stages in life like marriage and motherhood. Many don’t understand the minute details that can drain us or what the “big deal” is. Even the hubby’s sometimes although they try. Having at least one ear who gets it helps. It’s our learning process I suppose and preparation for what’s to come and our faith holds us together. Diff states don’t matter when it comes to someone who knows and can relate so please…I’m always around to share and listen. 😘


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