Using The Rod or Using Alternatives,Which is Best or Who Knows Best?

Being #introvertedlyhuman today, I am in my feelings on an introspective level about a judgment.  I don’t normally flaunt my opinion because I hate to get into conflict, but as of late, I feel stronger to do so.  You know how I feel about FB comments and how they can show a person’s true personality and/or thoughts. Internet courage is a real thing. I recently got into an “argument” with a commentor on a site I belong about basic parenting skills.  I listed spanking, breastfeeding, and public school education to name a few. This commentor focused on spanking and how it’s not needed. She admitted to at one time being a spanker but stopped when she found alternatives. I don’t know this woman at all, so I don’t know what she went through with her child. But once I answered her question about when spanking is needed, she didn’t like my answer and the back and forth ensued. Being #introvertedlyhuman I could read her tone of voice used and she was a little upset. I pointed it out but advised that we disagree and to end the debate before it escalated to which she replied she wasnt upset I just disliked what she said. It wasn’t me, it was her because she didnt agree with spanking. That’s her opinion but for those who do, how is she or others like her, the judge?

Spanking, to discipline a child or not? News reports and discusssions have talked about this particularly hot debate for a little while now and the responses are increasing. The first time I noticed this debate take root was when the Baltimore woman disciplined her son during a riot and it was caught on tape. She was condemned for violence against her child while others praised her for her actions. In my eyes, i agreed. She was letting her son know that she loved him….her actions spoke that she didn’t want to lose him especially since he was found out to be only riding the bandwagon, not really for the actual cause.  Now the subject is constantly brought up and seems to be a split decision- it’s not needed and the other says it is needed.  Proverbs 13:24 AMP says “He who withholds the rod [of discipline] hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines and trains him diligently and appropriately [with wisdom and love].  This verse in amplified text doesn’t explain how to discipline a wayward child, it just says that if  it’s withheld then a parent doesn’t care for their child’s wellbeing. But if a parent loves a child then they will discipline them and that will show then how to act accordingly. I agree that discipline is needed especially with children of this generation. Children over time have become their own in every aspect- opinionated and strong-willed, some to the point where it becomes disrespectful. So what can be done? There are those who spank and there are those who use alternatives, so who is the better parent? 

Spanking in my opinion is not wrong nor is it wrong to not spank. What I find wrong is how those who do are being shamed for it. Some children can be disciplined with a look or a few words, or even timeout- and it works! Great for them! Others have children who are “testers”, meaning they will keep doing as long as the parent keeps verbalizing their dislike in their action, so those parents may resort to a spanking- and it works! Each party is right in their own way but who said that one was right over the other?  Where we go wrong is letting our children not know discipline at all. Children should know how to act in public or when in social situations with adults, this is what discipline teaches them. This is what Proverbs 13:24 is talking about. 

So, in the end it’s a debate that has no real answer. It’s what works best for you and your child. So, folks who read this post won’t agree with me and that’s fine. Just as evryone has their opinion, I too have mine.



  1. The spanking debate is a hot topic indeed. I agree with you that the right choice is the the choice that fits the individual child/family. There is not a one size fits all when it comes to parenting and child rearing as there are different belief systems and dynamics that are unique to each family.

    Liked by 1 person

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