Humility, what does it mean?
The definition of humble is to lower (someone) in dignity or importance. Humility or modesty is what happens after one has been humbled. Humility happens when we have been so absorbed in something that has cut us off from what is important, cut us off from God.
How can one lose contact with God when we are so content with the hustle and bustle of everyday life? It’s easy! Because of that hustle and bustle, it gets harder to focus on prayer and even harder to tune out the surrounding noise. We become so wrapped up with finances(bills, bills, bills, not having enough funds, enjoying comforts of having abundance, etc), love (finding it and keeping it at all costs); that we forget to just say “Good Morning” to Him. When we lose contact with Him, He may take things away to help us gain focus. A perfect example of this is The Book of Job. Job was comfortable woth his life. He was wealthy l, his children and their families wealthy and he had his health. All of that was taken away from him, down to his very health. His wife told him to curse God but he wouldnt. He eventually was restored but his faith in God during his Turmoil got him through. Although this is a story, it happens to everyone everday. Being #introvertedlyhuman has taught me to look into my own story and learn from my lesson.
Having moved to a Florida, I was in search of a stable job to support our home. I was rewarded that job two weeks later and worked that job for almost 2 years. Early on into the job, I made sure to continue my prayer life during the work day and at home. After awhile the daily in and outs of my job(production numbers,quality of work, and working with others) caused me to focus on the job than my spirituality. I had slowed in my prayer life to the point where I stopped praying altogether and was maintaining my life. This went on even after I left that job, became a mother, and moved onto another job. Now my daily routine increased, consisting of a grueling day care commute (dropping off and picking up child down the street from my job but having to pickup my husband, who worked on the opposite side of town. We finally switched the commute route but i wound up having to wait on my husband to get me, which was so long…ugh) coupled with astronomical day care expenses and then a new job that wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. My son who has childhood asthma easily caught colds, sinus infections, and every other child illness from being around other kids (occupational hazard), so I was taking time off within my first 90 days. My new job started leading back to conversations with God only because the job drove me crazy, from the work to the people. I needed to pray to keep from going off. The stress of juggling motherhood and work was struggling for me. I was afraid I was going to get fired and wanted to keep my job only because I needed to help provide for daycare. I was spiraling out of control, always talking about quitting with my husband until one day so fed up with my job, a voice said “The ball is in your court.”
Long story short, I quit and was home with my son but I struggled with not working, not contributing to the household finances and being at home all the time. One night I prayed to God imploring Him to let me get a part time job and find daycare. Well, I got the part time job and put my son into a cheaper daycare but it barely covered the daycare expenses and we were always behind. God granted me my request because he wanted to show me that I was messing up. If I trusted Him and the process instead of worrying about money, then everything would work out. But instead I kept applying for full time jobs and no one would bite. I had no choice but to quit the part time and was home again. After awhile, I began to pray every morning and slowly re-established a dialogue with God. I found more joy in watching my son’s development and spending time with him. I thanked God for helping me find joy in everyday life again.
It’s been a year since I worked last and I have learned alot more about myself. I’ve learned that there’s joy to be found in the smallest things, embracing a long time fear of my personality type: introversion and learned that my sensitivity to people and feeling things around me is called empathy. I have started writing a Christian love story and have since become pregnant yet again.
I praise God everyday for how far he has brought me and tell Him I look forward to where He will take me. This experience has not only humbled me, but my husband as well. We had to learn how to juggle one pay check biweekly. God has taught us how to be resourceful by using the little that we have and to find joy in being a family. It wasn’t easy at first with this new arrangement but over time it got easier. We have a roof over our heads, a working car, and our health. He has kept us, truly.
So, if anyone reads this and are going through a tough time of not finding peace or joy because of fighting with love, finances, or whatever is keeping you from doing s, I hope you find inspiration in this blog post.