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I came across this article, Do You Put Up Emotional Walls, Based on Your Personality Type – Personality Growth
and it instantly got me thinking, do I erect foundational supports or do I build foundational structures to protect things inside? Protection vs. Support🤔🤔🤔
According to the website personalitygrowth.com, each personality has their own “walls” they put up when dealing with people. I can’t speak for everyone, so I’ll talk about my personality type – INFP.
When I was a chap (southern slang for kid, also one of my favorite words😊), I shared alot of myself without aplomb. I would talk to anyone about anything, everyone was my friend( my mom hated when I said “my friend” when I talked about someone. “Everyone is not your friend” she would constantly tell me). During my adolescent/teen years, that notion of friend changed. Why? Maybe it had to do with abstract thought, processing concepts on a much deeper level? Breaking down parameters and characteristics of what it means to be a friend?
What I actually started doing was analyzing people’s actions, listening to what they didn’t say versus what they actually said i.e. reading between the lines, and reacting from their vibe; this was my gold standard of trust. If I felt comfortable enough to share myself with you, then you were worthy. Then I wouldn’t erect a wall.
Personally speaking, walls were my protection. Walls kept me safe from hurt, pain, ridicule. If I didn’t share myself, I wouldn’t be made fun of; if I made myself invisible (which was hard to do because I am tall), no one would notice how awkward I looked. Only my closest friends, knew the real me; I kept everyone else in mystery.
Now, I build foundational structures for support, by helping cheer on the underdog which in turn, gives me the courage to stand up and voice. Having a foundational support to lean on is better than surrounding oneself with protective barriers because now you have the courage to speak up. I rather lean than be caged in.
What kind of walls do you put up?
How have they helped or hindered you?